Wow! What a headline! Thirty shows in Puerto Rico celebrating and giving back to his homeland. Bad Bunny is truly our national hero! Some of us might even be fantasizing about renaming San Juan “San Bunny.” It may actually now be against the law in Puerto Rico not to love our Saint Bunny. That’s what I’m calling him from now on.
But trust me. Saint Bunny knows what he’s doing. Is his love for Puerto Rico genuine? Who knows? But one thing’s for sure: Saint Bunny is making big bucks off these shows. And his saccharine promotion of Puerto Rico makes it all possible.
For Saint Bunny, Puerto Rico makes for a great backdrop and his residency here makes for a great story. Great stories generate attention. And attention sells tickets. But not necessarily at a price many locals can afford.
You may have heard that after he completes his splashy residency here, Saint Bunny is loading up his equipment to embark on a global tour where he will continue to spread his (possibly?) earnest love for Puerto Rico. Which of course will also make him lots and lots of (even more) money! But the best part? It’s not for you, American colonizers!
You see, Saint Bunny isn’t taking his show on the road in the mainland US because it’s “not necessary.” (At least that’s the plan for now—we’ll see if the Bunny’s appetite for green American lettuce alters that plan down the road).
But back to his residency and planned avoidance of mainland venues. This is truly the stuff of genius. Some slightly less charitable observers might describe it as insidious. But either way, let’s break down what’s really going on.
Saint Bunny and his team had to know that a thirty-day residency in Puerto Rico would be an economic non-starter if tickets were only sold in Puerto Rico, even at the announced ticket prices. So Saint Bunny was left with a conundrum: 1) how could he make money from selling out thirty shows in Puerto Rico (and related merchandise!); 2) garner global attention by claiming the he’s giving back to his homeland by holding thirty shows here; and 3) extol his virtue and anti-American politics by giving the stiff arm to American fans by skipping the mainland?
Fortunately for our hero, there was always an answer. Enter the ticket scalpers and American ticket resellers! Which only a fool could believe wasn’t always part of the plan.
Media outlets such as CNN estimate that approximately 600,000 people will visit Puerto Rico to attend Saint Bunny’s shows. That’s great news. For Saint Bunny. Maybe not such great news for you. Resale ticket prices for good seats at Saint Bunny’s shows are going for thousands of dollars. In fact, as of this writing, Vivid Seats, a popular ticket reseller on the US mainland, is offering August 1 Row D center stage tickets for the low, low price of $16,590. Apiece!
But just who are these nervy and extremely resource-privileged out-of-towners that are buying up all of our hero’s overpriced tickets? If you guessed New Yorkers, Floridians and Californians, you win! (not that we have any prizes to offer). Wealthy Americans from the wealthiest American states. Which makes total sense. Come to think of it, aren’t those the very states where Bad Bunny owns multi-million dollar homes when he’s not staying at his multi-million dollar estate in Puerto Rico? Also, did you think the ticket buyers wouldn’t be from those specific states? Did you think they were coming from Venezuela?
Unsavory? Depends who you ask. Unfair to locals? Maybe. But c’mon! We’re talking about our national hero! And the ticket scalpers and their American ticket reselling partners get to rake it in too! Should you be sad? Or envious? Saint Bunny gets to make a pretty penny and it doesn’t cost you a dime! Ah! But maybe all those fancy, mainland Americans, with all their fancy, mainland dollars, make it impossible for you to afford a ticket. So he’s making bank AND scoring political points! And you? Well, you get to sit home and hear about all the awesomeness! Unless you’re wealthy enough to buy a ticket or are named LeBron James.
But let’s not dwell on all of that. Instead, let’s buy in to the storied romance between Saint Bunny and local Puerto Ricans. Into the idea that Saint Bunny loves us as much as we love him. Into the fantasy that he’s performing thirty shows here out of the goodness of his heart. And let’s dream that he’s giving all of us great seats to thirty spectacles that most of us can only, well, dream about affording. He is Saint Bunny after all!
And anyway, all is not lost. You can still show and pledge your eternal allegiance to Puerto Rico and its culture by buying one or two Saint Bunny albums or t-shirts with the ticket money you saved!